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JOKE: What Movies Teach Us

1) All bombs are fitted with electronic timing devices, which have large red read-outs to tell you exactly when it will go off.

2) Should you need to pass yourself off as a German officer, it will not be necessary to speak the language, a convincing accent will...

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QUOTE OF THE DAY (09 February 2012): What would you attempt to do if you knew you would not fail? - Dr. Robert Schuller
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JOKE: A Man and His Garden

JOKE: A Man and His Garden image
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An old Italian man lived alone in New Jersey. He wanted to plant his annual tomato garden; but it was very difficult work as the ground was hard.

His only son, Vincent, who used to help him, was in prison. The old man wrote a letter to his son and described his predicament:

Dear Vincent,
I am feeling pretty sad, because it looks like I won't be able to plant my tomato garden this year. I'm just getting too old to be digging up a garden plot. I know if you were here my troubles would be over. I know you would be happy to dig the plot for me, like in the old days.
Love, Papa

A few days later he received this letter from his son:

Dear Pop,
Don't dig up that garden. That's where the bodies are buried.
Love, Vinnie

At 6 am the next morning, FBI agents and local police arrived and dug up the entire area without finding any bodies. They apologized to the old man and left. That same day the old man received another letter from his son.

Dear Pop,
Go ahead and plant the tomatoes now. That's the best I could do under the circumstances.
Love, Vinnie



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JOKE: Difference Between Men and Women

JOKES
JOKE: Difference Between Men and Women
1. A man will pay $2 for a $1 item he wants. A woman will pay $1 for a $2 item that she doesn't want.
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JOKE: Monster Lawnmower

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JOKE: Monster Lawnmower
What does happen when you mix a lawnmower and a monster truck???
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